We met up for a date after work. Me and Courtney that is. It was kinda awkward.

“I can’t believe we’re like on a date or whatever.” she said

“I know, it’s kinda weird,., in a good way” I nodded

“It’s the first time we’ll get to talk about something nonwork related.”

“Not quite the first.”

She looked a question with a strange eyebrow furrow thingy.

In answer I said “Remember we talked about politics last night”

“Can you shut the TV off. Starving refugees are too ugly to have sex in front of.”

“True”

She shot me an annoyed look.

I gave her my shocked face then smiled.

“We had that conversation on neck cramps and lock jaw.”

“Iah hant muv mai jahha.”

Which earned me a pissed look that slowly morphed into pissed but amused.

Then I got excited shouting and pointing “We talked about Chinese food.”

Trying to find a non-bloody spot in the general tso’s I stuck my finger in the sauce and gave it a taste.

“Mmm, good.”

“I told you so.” Courtney said while grabbing a plate.

“You’re eating again?” I said trying something else.

“I figure we burned off enough calories. The kungpow’s my favorite,., and use the tongs please.” she said offering me a plate as I sampled another dish.

“I’m too excited to eat really,, it just smells so good you know?”

She completely ignored me, ordered a coke, and stared blankly.

Mostly to the waitress I said “Apparently I need to start drinking,. double absolute and redbull.,. and a bud.”

After a long moment she said “Are you actually going to say anything?”

“Umm…mm I don’t know, what do you want me to say?”

She smiled like she was hoping I’d say that and took the statement at face value.

“Oh, just how I’m the prettiest girl in the world. Smartest too. That you’re falling in love with me and you’ll need and want me forever.”

“That’s all?” I said slyly. “You make the second prettiest girl look like a sixty year old mans balls. Your IQ looks like a zipcode.”

I got serious “I need you. I want you. I am hopelessly in love with you.”

“And you’re almost as good a shot as me.” and I lost it.

She brought her head back just a little as she heard the last statment shaking her head “No.”

“I thought I’d try.”

Then we totally made out for a while,

stopping right as the waitress arrived with our drinks giving Courtney hers with a raised eyebrow and some incalculable look.

“I’ll get the fresco grille rare-mediumrare.” I interrupted, I think.

“Surf and turf, baked potato extra butter no salad.” “What, you’re paying.”

“Oh really.”

“You know how hard it was to pretend to be married to Carly “Especially with you around. It was torrible.”

“Pffpt, she didn’t look so terrible.”

“It wasn’t that, it was her, her,, she was just dead inside.” “And that wasn’t a cover personality, you can’t fake waiting for death like it’s your only goal.”

“Golly gee, I never saw it like that, it’s so sad.”

“And I really have to get into a role to be able to pull it off and being married to

her made me feel like I was somehow responsible for how she felt.

Thank the FSM it wasn’t real”

A long pause followed where, I think, both of us just felt bad about Carly.

“I requested not to be assigned with her anymore… it was too dep,., frightening.”

Another long pause. This one was really uncomfortable. Talking about being married to another woman can do that.

I’m not sure what was going on in Courtney’s head just then, even more than usual, but it wasn’t good.

Eventually she said “You know we only have to take this as far as you want to. We can stop where ever, just fuck buddies if you want.”

“Oooo we could be BFFF’s. Best Fuck Friends forever. It’s like 1, 2, 3, steps up from regular fuck buddies.”

“And we could get necklesses that fit together. Mine will have a penis, you get a vagina, and we’ll magnetize the two.

If we wanted to go all the way we could run alternating current.”

“We went to far already.”

“But it would be soo cool, like cool with a k,.,”

“Look it’s no use trying to describe how I want things to be with us cause to do and to be all the things I want with you we’ll have to live forever babe.”

“I can handle that”

“Me too”

“So what’s first on the list?”

“First fizzyfoofoo.” I said

I spotted the waitress coming out of the kitchen with our food. “The second, seventh, eighth, thirteenth, and seventeenth are all the sexors.”

“Do you think we could recruit the waitress?”

It turned out our waitress, Kay, had a boyfriend, the busboy, and she just wasn’t willing to cheat on him.

But that was kool cause Courtney talked to Chris and convinced him to have a four way.

With a body like hers it’s easy to be convincing.

Let’s just say we had fun and leave it at that.

Then some more fun.

And some more.

Over the next few weeks we ended up having fun with most of the waitstaff.

It was good.

* * * * *

One morning I woke up to the first rays of sun shineing through the windows of her bedroom.

Courtney was wearing my dad’s old 68 highschool football jersey. I just stared at her like that.

I could stare all night while she slept, and sometimes I did just that, but last night had been rather athletic, and I ended up drifting back into sleep.

I woke again sometime later and engaged in what I can only describe as intense snuggleing.

It was good, but it could only last so long “I need coffee woman..,.,,.,And Pancakes”

“You keep talking like that and I’ll poison you damn coffee.”

“You don’t scare me woman.”

The next morning I woke up to the sun saying “Hi, I’m back. I told you I’d be back”

Courtney was wearing my second favorite shirt.

A cutoff that said “If you are a young sexually irresponsible young girl call…” a quote from a favorite book Survivor, but with my real phone number.

It had scored me some real good tail a few times, but I liked it better on her. God do I love side boob.

I fell back asleep. We snuggled. I bitched about orange juice and waffles. She threatened to dismember me.

The next morning I woke imagining the suns rays warming my soul, and there they were doing just that.

Courtney was wearing my absolute favorite shirt, a plain old red shirt with a big adidas logo in black on both sides. It was originally bought by my kickass sister at goodwill.

She had worn it for a few years, then thirteen fourteen years ago she gave it to me. It has like a million smallish holes and is so thin it adds a red tint to your upper half rather than covering it.

You can imagine why it was my favorite shirt.

The girl on my other side didn’t have any shirt. I liked it too.

I fell asleep. We all snuggled. I yelled for bacon and eggs and bacon and toast. And coffee. Womans.

They threatened my left nut, and then my right.

It was good.

We had developed a pattern.

It was good.

The next morning I woke up and made breakfast. Omlets without the om. While sporting morning wood, that takes talent.

Courtney stumbled down the stairs giving me a wtf are you doing awake look.

“I made breakfast maybe you cloud stir up a little eighteen year old punker girl.”

I took Courtney out on a jog through the trails at the park that night.

“It’s going to be after dark by the time we finish.” she said as we passed a marker.

“We’re FBI agents I think we can break park rules. Hell like 99.7 percent of the reason I became an agent was so I could break rules and not get in trouble.

Shit for a while I was trying to convince Kevin to let me go “deep” into an x ring.”

“To bust fun loving teens?”
“No, I just wanted to gather information you know, maybe get in a situation where if I didn’t take some my cover would be blown.

But Shade got that gig. And he sure does love it.”

We came to a spot I knew well. Unmarked except in that it was a certain distance from an odd looking tree.

I led her down a nonexistant path.

“What are we doing, this isn’t even a side path.”she said

“Hold on, hold on .” I went into a braveheart impersonation “Hold”

“Braveheart?”she asked

I stopped and stepped out of the way to reveal a rock outcropping overlooking a small grassy river valley.

We stood there and watched the sun go down for I don’t know how long.

It was beautiful.

I moved a rock brushing away some dirt to uncover a package.

I pulled out a tent, sleeping bag, wine and glasses. I set up the tent while Courtney poured us each a glass.

“You’d never think you could find this much natural beauty in the middle of the city,, any city.” Courtney nearly whispered

“It almost hurts to realize it all used to look like this.”

“What’s with the light?” she said killing the mood

“We’re right against the far edge of highland meadows golf course.

It’s just a tiny maintenance shack with a light outside, I’ll shoot it out if you want.”

“No, no”

As the stars slowly came out of hiding we danced.

A we’ve gone crazy and we love it sort of dance.

To what rhythm I know not but as we danced we traveled back. Back and the stars got brighter and more numerous.

Back and the golf course disappeared. Back to nature, back to the beginning we traveled. The trees grew young then shrunk and disappeared.

And sprang back old and frail, but getting stronger, and healthier. We felt the strength of the earth and strength of ourselves.

Growing to understand the necessity of the inevitability and constance of time, but also appreciate our ability to mold and subjectify it.

It was good.

I woke up to the slow glow of dawn, the sun hidden by our hill.

Courtney wore my arm rather well. I tucked my head into her neck returning to dreams of a reality where this lasted forever.

I woke again, demanding coffee.

“Wine or nuthin,. you packed.” she said followed by “Let’s get wasted, then stumble back.” which she adopted before even suggesting it.

I took a swig “There isn’t that much we’ll have to really slam it to get a good buzz.”

She took the bottle gave it a good ten second chug and said “Ok.”

I took a long hard drink finishing the bottle “I totally should have borrowed some evidence, then we could of gotten really fucked up.”

She opened up the other bottle took a slug saying “I can’t believe you packed three bottles. Did you think you’d need to liquor me up to get some action?”

She handed me the bottle, I set it down and began taking down the tent, thinking. Courtney rolled up the bag, waiting.

We finished packing, putting everything back in the outer plastic bag.

I grabbed the bottle and shrugged while taking a drink. “How long do you think this has been here” I said

“Since yesterday”

“Four years.”

“Naaww”

“Notice the wear.”

The bag was covered with dried mud and worn.

Courtney brought back the pattern with enthusiasm then shaking her head “”Wait, what? Four years? Why? What, what were you waiting for?”

“The right girl. The girl that can outdrink me.” I said barely taking a sip and handing it back for her to finish.

She smiled “I’m starting to think you were Way sex starved before me”

“I was skin and bones.”

We put the bag back where it went and walked back towards the trail.

We tried to get back on the trail unnoticed sneaking around,

but gave up deciding it was more fun to act like crazy people

and dance and zig zag by the runners. We made it to the playground and of course stopped and played.

Then we ran back home and had more fun with our neighbor stoner chick.

* * * * *

We went back to work. Where our cover was rather easy to pull off. We were planted into a standard FBI office, our only roll was to do our jobs.

The only time we did blackopps high profile work we were just given on site assignment from above that looked legit to even our local boss.

But there is rarely anything high profile and to maintain cover the teams are rotated semirandomly so most everything was a routine, a pattern we are aware of.

So when the office was broken into and all the personnel files were stolen it gave all of us something important

to work on but only our BO unit Shade, Courtney, and I fully realized the possible ramifications.

Any other time including the Tran mission we just used regular agents that we liked and trusted

giving them as little information as we could and telling them not to think about it too much.

This time we did the exact same thing, but pulled up an all-star team from the ranks.

I gathered my two favorite techies Ryan and Marc. Shade reassigned two field agents that always worked together Craig and Jen.

Courtney recruited a new tiny little doctor named Trudy.

As we started making preliminary plans and projected results and developed motivational theories the first body came in.

We had been slow unprepared and unable to understand the levels our enemy would go.

“We should assume there are multiple targets”said Jen

“Do we assume there are multiple assassins is the question Craig

“Yes, because if there aren’t it won’t effect our actions.” Marc

I ordered Ryan “Have everyone thats outside break their routines and travel to a random location.”

Shade “Lock down the building, and have the nearest field team watch the perimeter

Courtney “Have another field agent investigate, and tell him to be fucking careful.”

“Done” Ryan replied typing away.

We were finally up to gear. Orders went out reports came in.

Our defense grew intensely as the instinct to protect one’s own fully kicked in.

It was scarey for a while. After finding nothing special about the shooting and no evidence other than

an unmarked unknown ubiquitous 9mm it became tiresome. And then tedious.

Then nothing. Nothing.

We waited and either the killer waited or was done. Slowly we decreased the overall preparedness over a few days. The personal protection remained increased,

but there was no other choice than to go back to normal.

In a matter of two hours three agents went down in separate events. All men between twentyfive and thirty, brown hair and shorter than average.

The same way someone might describe me.

It seemed evident the captain had seen Tweedledum’s badge assumed I worked at the local office and given my general description to an assassin.

I sure hoped they paid him a lot.

He was obviously highly skilled, but this job was about to get exponentially harder now that we knew what he was after, and his targets grew fewer.

We decided to do what we always did, set a trap. It comes naturally, what can I say.

Our only other options were to go into hiding or get picked off one by one as any assassin has an enormous advantage.

We leaked enough info about the Tran operation to identify myself to the assassin by way of a Chinese blackopps group that had a mole in the Washington office that we totally didn’t know about.

So now both were focused on me.

Sometimes I don’t really appreciate all the attention.

With all the recent deaths in town we decided to take a trip to Cancun,

a place where another death wouldn’t cause much stir.

And it’s a great place for vacation.

If I were the one trying to kill myself and suddenly I was flying to Mexico,., well I’d probably sit in an emergency exit row and just jump out.

But if I was someone else hired to kill me, well I’d know it was all a trap.

It’s not like I wouldn’t go for it, but I’d be damn careful about it.

So I felt rather confident getting on the plane knowing it was a high risk area and therefor relatively safe.

On the plane there was a redonk brunette that caught my attention,

but both Courtney and I were a little too on edge to go for it. Besides the rest of the team was surveilling us and it would have been awkward.

We got to our sweetass hotel without incident, but as soon as we entered my whole world collapsed.

There in the lobby were Brad and Angelina.

We spent the next three days locked in our room.

There’s no story to tell here.

Look away.

Finally emerging to the open, the sunlight, the air and sky, I felt reborn, strengthened,

ready to take on the world, even the possible sniper drawing a bead on my chest right now.

I retreated back to the room ashamed and scared of my own bravado.

Seeking seemingly better terms for our assassin we headed to the beach along with our team surveilling the area.

Ryan and Marc had the sensors; MMWR, facial recog, satellite, and heat sigs.

Craig and Jen slightly distanced, with 50 cals patrolling the area, had us covered.

Trudy waited around hoping she wouldn’t have to do anything, at least I hope she did.

Shade did something.

Me and Courtney headed down to the beach.

Spent the whole damn day waiting.

Nothin.

We went back to the relative safety of the hotel to relax, but that only lowered our level of alertness a little.

This was starting to get stressful.

During dinner I said “There’s really no good reason to be concerned out here in the restaurant.” after examining the couple sitting next to us.

“What, you don’t think he could be good enough to get past Shade? Cause he could.”

“But we should assume that he isn’t that good.”

“And why not?”

“Because if he’s that good he could do it anywhere, which means I’m a dead man, so let’s assume he’s not that good.”‘

After creating that bit of logic the tension faded away, and we began to enjoy where we were.

The restaurant, Cancun, in the warmth, alive and young.

It was good.

And then it got better.

This smokin hot blonde walked up and sat down.

A conversation occurred that I even took part in, but none of it registered, I just concentrated on her boobs, a lot.

Slowly I came to grasp that she was asking us if we wanted to have a threesome,

but I was too late in regaining consciousness, Courtney had already said no for us.

The blonde walked off breaking my heart.

I shot Courtney the worst meanest look I could.

“I’m ragging it” she said shrugging

“Damn it. Fuck you too mother nature.”

Trying to salvage my dignity I said “You know that could have been the assassin.”

“I know you aren’t used to attractive women hitting on you so you assume some alterior motive,

but I’m fucking hot babe, she wanted this shit, red wings and all.” which pretty much ended the discussion and the night.

I woke to room service bearing coffee and omlets just as dawn approached.

Gosh planning ahead was sweet.

That day I decided to go jet skiing, Courtney remained on the beach furthering the sandiness of her vagina.

Everyone else was hard at work protecting me.

“Dude that hot chick you turned down last night cause you’re gay is like three hundred meters out on a seadoo.” Shade said into my newly waterproofed earpiece

“You should regain your manhood and go get her.” Ryan chimed in

“Oh, and it looks like she just ran out of gas, she’s stopping in the middle of nowhere.” said Marc

“Don’t do it Red, Courtney will be pissed.” Jen said while Shade said something about boobs.

“I can still hear you guys.” Courtney

“DIVE” they all shouted

I was more surprised by those six agreeing on anything

than I was about suddenly diving into the ocean hiding from a sniper.

After the initial rush and reorientation I started to wonder how long I could hold my breath, and how long I’d have to.

Which thought brought back everyone else, I settled down and began listening to my earpiece again.

It was over already.

“No Shade, you can’t fire THROUGH a civilian ship to get at her.” Courtney I think

“But she’s gonna get away” Shade

“That’s ok, she knew when she set this up whether or not she got Vers she’d be able to escape, all that matters is she didn’t.” Jen

“Now that she’s been ID’d she’ll have to try something riskier, we made a lot of progress, without losing anything.” Craig

“Hey where is he?” Shade

That was my que to come up showcasing my ridiculous lung capacity.

I smiled and waved back to shore.

Next we went scuba diving.

It was fun.

Till someone added chum to the water, and all the sharks came.

It was pretty terrifying, but we tried to play it off to the other passengers that things like this happened all the time.

One couple backed us up on this leading me to believe they were either insane or stupid, or a mixture of the two.

We had developed a pattern.

Then we signed up for a walking tour of the tulum ruins, and a bomb went off while we were walking along a cliff,

but there was a delay between the explosion and the rock actually giving way.

The insane couple was all over the situation even before we were.

We let them blather on as we discussed our plan.

The assassin was being too careful for us to catch her and her plans were almost succeeding.

It was time to go home break apart the group cease surveillance and face my enemy on her terms.

The attempt would come soon.

I was back at home with no protection other than myself and Courtney.

There was no good reason for her not to attack, this was as easy as it was going to get,

and the longer she hung around the more likely it was she would be spotted.

No it would come soon.

Two vs one but the one has every other advantage, except maybe skill.

She had no small amount, but it takes a lot more to show me up, and even more to get Court.

It was the first real warm day of spring.

I was with Courtney driving up the mall parking garage

car dancing to hellogoodbye and rolling up the windows while

pulling into a spot when the first shot fired.

The bullet hit the top of the window as it went up.

Instinctually ducking I watched the bullets continue thumping into the bullet proof glass.

Blondie was nearly upon us gun out reaching for the door handle.

I smiled and mouthed “Rapelocks” as she tugged at the door.

I tilted my head to the side in that sad dog face way, while Courtney gave her the tongue.

Courtney and I stared at each other for a moment, gaining confidence in each others’ smile,

deciding in a singular look that I would herd her outside where Courtney would finish her.

We pulled out our weapons. I caught the sight of the assassin backing away into the shadows in my peripheral.

Courtney exited out her door heading in the opposite direction,

while lobbing a flash grenade over the car towards where the assassin lurked.

I looked away when the flash came, and as I dove out Courtney’s already open door, I decided to hit the windows down button and crank the volume.

A few shots fired when the flash went off, I believe they were aimed at my door, figuring I would exit using the flash as a distraction.

And she was completely correct except  using the other door.

I slid over to the next car and then down one row, silently.

I became giddy and almost lost myself as track 10 came on, the sound thumping and reverberating around the garage.

Bouncing to the beat I got in tune with the song, decided to dash for the next column.

The shots followed a split second too late. I threw a bottle in one direction and was about to

dive in the other but no shots were fired on the bottle, guess that trick was old news.

I shot a few expensive looking cars setting off their alarms to cause at

least some distraction for my killer, for me they just blended into the music.

I ran a few cars down my row and luckily turned left to the next column, as shots blasted into the cars between me and her.

Backup would be here soon, we both knew it.

I heard the fast sharp footfall of sprinting, turned and fired, my shots burrowing into the pillar separating us.

I shot to the left and right of the support, leaving only one safe path. Straight ahead of the pillar I could see the glow of an exit sign.

Perfect.

After seeing the edge of the door close and shut I went forward and checked the stairwell to make sure she was staying on that side of the building.

I could hear her taking the steps fast, but there was a precision to the rhythm of the footfall. She certainly wasn’t panicked.

I left the stairwell heading over to the open side of the garage to signal Courtney, and also to try to snipe Blondie.

Not very likely considering all I had left was a 45 but it was worth a shot.  I had to reload.

Courtney was right where I thought she’d be, in the middle of the two exits alternating views.

My assassin exited as Courtney was turning back in that direction.

They saw each other at the same moment.

Courtney tried to get a clean shot but there were just too many pedestrians for her to fire.

Our friendly killer had no such qualms about shooting into a crowd.

She fired off a few rounds in Courtney’s direction, but they stopped short lodging in this and that persons’ body signaled by sprays of blood.

And as I watched blood erupted from a head wound,

to what would normally be considered a middle aged man if he weren’t in the act of dying,

time slowed down or maybe my mind sped up.

In one freeze frame I could see Courtney taking aim with an open shot now that the crowd had hit the deck one way or another,

but Blondie was a step ahead locked on and about to fire.

Time returned, as her right shoulder erupted out of nowhere.

Courtney fired on the target, as did I, as the first shooter continued.

We created something that lies between ground meat and roadkill emptying our clips.

“I got the kill shot.” I yelled down.

“Bullshit, I got her in the heart.” said Courtney

“I got twenty on Courtney. Any takers, we can get ballistics to check it out.” Shade shouted up.

I yelled back “Fifty.” then I ran to the car and raced down the garage skidding to

a halt on the sidewalk just in front of Orangie’s body as I popped the trunk.

Courtney stopped giving orders over the phone long enough to say “Done”.

I got out to help Shade throw the bet winning evidence in the trunk.

Shade grabbed her remaining shoulder and back, I got her feet, both of us trying to avoid getting dirty.

“Ready?” I asked as I looked up at Shade.

And right as we were about to lift it up Courtney walked up, phone

tucked against her shoulder, picked up the body form the waist and threw it in.

“EW” she said as she dropped the phone and backed away.

“What’d you expect?” Shade said.

Courtney replied with a “No shit.” look.

So I asked “What?”

“She peed her pants”

“She was a pro I’m sure it didn’t happen till she died from my shot.” I replied

“That’s not a good excuse. There is nothing that makes peeing yourself ok.”

We got in the normal passenger area and drove off leaving the rest of the cleanup for our minions.

Shade said “That bitch was good, you guys were expecting her and she still almost got you.”

“We need to get better. Like now.”

“Well at least we get to be on offense again.”

We dropped off the body at the office lab for id and to resolve the bet.

Then we disposed of the car seeing as no one would want to drive that one again.

The cleanup went according to plan.

A second female body was returned to the scene in replacement, and a male body was put on the fourth level.

A 5’7″ white male with brown hair. It was me. I was dead.

Well, officially, dead.

It was the only way to be truly done with it.

That and killing the guy who made it all possible.

Dental records and finger prints led us to Bunclady Ireland.

Then we traced her travels back to a small town on the outskirts of Shanghai.

The group, our group, the big group, headed out aboard a C-17 for a seventeen hour flight.

Halfway there feeling the utter boredom of flight Craig blurted out “I’m going to kill him”

Immediately followed by “I’m going to kill him ALOT.” by Courtney

“I’ll kill him the most.” Jen added just to be cute.

He was nearly unguarded in his home, just a lackey who was courageous till he saw a gun and fainted.

The captain fought just as much being attached to a dialysis machine showing signs of waking.

Dr. Tran also had kidney problems. I wondered if they were related.

We took both of them back for interrogation along with physical evidence we thought might help. But all of them turned out useless.

The boy because he didn’t understand anything that was going on around him.

The captain because he was near death, and the capture had broken his mind.

The mind having become feeble due to a deteriorating body.

Physical evidence produced no new links no new leads just old info rediscovered for the nth time.

It was over.

The whole thing had made my career, led to the gathering of an unstoppable Bo team,

made a dynamic friendship, and created a relationship I couldn’t believe.

It was good.

And all of the negative reprecussions had played out with no real negatives except my own death.

Fuck karma, I’m living it up.

* * * * *

My funeral took place as soon a we got home. Total, a little more than three days from my passing.

It was a good service, and just the way I would want it.

I should know, I went, even though we decided only Courtney and Shade should go to limit possible slip ups.

Disguised with a quality wig and three inch lifts no one would notice me.

Everyone there knew that I was dead, they would see what they wanted to see, just another one of Vers’ strange friends.

Except of course Shade and Courtney who would see just as easily through my change in accessories whether or not they thought I was dead.

So I planned on avoiding those two and spending the time seeing my friends for the

last time and taking advantage of my only opportunity I’d ever have to meet Courtney’s family.

When I walked in fashionably late I saw Courtney talking to my family.

Unable to rein in my curiosity I walked towards them to listen in.

I watched Courtney introduce herself to my mom. I could see the disbelief in her face.

She never completely believed my mom was a nun I guess.

After basic pleasantries Courtney took Ben and retreated to a corner for a real conversation.

Good thing I had the place bugged.

A standard procedure,, no. An abnormality that might cause suspicion, no.

“You guys don’t seem all that shook up.” she said to my brother.

Ben said “Vers wouldn’t really mind death, he kind of thought of it as

‘If what I think happens and the Christians are wrong it will be worth it just to gloat even though I won’t be able to,

if what I hope happens dying is just like step two of many, and if heaven and hell exist I’ll enjoy working for devil.’ ”

I giggled as I realized my hope really had come true. My life had ended and a new one was beginning.

But inside of that satisfaction was a core of sadness about what was past and over, and what I would miss.

From weddings and children to disease and failure I wouldn’t a part of their lives to celebrate or help or commiserate.

It sucked.

Ben and Courtney had finished their conversation while I was lost in thought.

Courtney walked over to a group of my friends whom she had met before.

“You should come to the after party with us it’s gonna be sweet!” said my former roommate Josh who showed all the signs of excess prepartying.

Another separate former roommate Natalie said “You totally should, we talked about this all the time. We wanted to start a party funeral service.

The kind of party the dead always wanted to have, and trust me with all the little strippers we rounded up he sure would have been happy, , except they’re all over eighteen, but I think he’d understand.”

The room grew quite. Looking around for the cause I saw my friend Seth The Raver preparing to speak.

And when this man spoke everyone instinctually knew to listen.

It was partially his voice itself. It could be heard throughout a room sounding as if he were standing next to you.

This was true without him ever raising his voice just some intrinsic quality of the sound making it so clear.

But mostly people listened because he had thought about each and every word with every ounce of his focus.

I felt uncomfortable listening in on thoughts I wasn’t meant to hear so I went to the other room and found

Courtney’s parents sitting on a couch looking earnestly upset.

A surprise considering we had never met.

I sat down opposite them and asked “How did you know Vers?”

“I’m James, he was my daughter’s,,..well she would say future husband. Apparently Vers had a pet peeve about french words.

Of course she mentioned that his biggest pet peeve was the phrase ‘pet peeve’. I’m not sure if either one or both were trying to be ironic or if they were serious.

I never actually got to meet him with their schedules and all, but from what everyone has said today and from what Courtney says he was a person who could really be considered unique.

You must have been friends, right?” was his long winded reply.

I nodded my head.

“Well according to what I’ve heard you need to stop talking to an old man and start partying with everyone else”

“Eh, I also know Courtney, it’s tragic to see your daughter lose him so quickly.”

“She deserves more.” Courtney’s mom said more with anger than compassion.

I didn’t know how to respond so I got up and walked off thinking about what she had said.

Our relationship was forcing her to leave her family and friends and lie to them basically forever.

Man I was fucking everything up.

It sucked.

On the way to the afterparty we all stopped and visited the memorial that had for some reason been erected even though the body had been cremated.

All the standard information was on one side, but on the other was a poem with the happytree in the background.

may truth be known

until fantasy unfolds

rebuild the past by exploring the future

definitions change or become obsolete

only you can prevent forest fires

cleveland browns rule

k tks bye roflcopter?

I liked it but was more curious about the author than anything else.

Whatever, it was time to party.

As we settled into our new surroundings, switching mental modes ready to rock, a large group of my college friends gathered around Courtney.

Eventually someone managed to either gather enough courage or do enough drugs, much the same thing, to ask what they all wanted to know

“What actually happened?”

Courtney looked down, paused, and looked up with a fire and began telling the story, starting from the point we got back to town.

She told the story from her perspective. A story full of emotion. A story made from fear, but fear mixed with excitement.

A story with hope and anger. And to my surprise a story of pride.

The story ended with her killing the assassin and I knew she was just a lying bitch.

I turned away to visit the other room to see if it had a lower population of bullshitters.

The same scene was repeating itself with Shade and my other friends.

This version had a lot more emphasis on action and lots more of it.

A true man’s tale. Till the bitch claimed the kill shot.

An interesting conversation broke out over whether I would prefer punk or techno.

My friends seemed to divide over this but the correct conclusion was made that I would

like them both equally considering both the techno room and the punk room had strippers.

Good thing Natalie planned for this.

The gathering remained mostly segregated between those two groups.

The stoners playing drunk tag.

The ravers dancing toward heaven.

But slowly the energy drained.

Tag devolved into a mental battle of the giants, about cherries from Toronto transported by albatross.

Dancing became a cuddle puddle of epic proportions.

I stood up, and looked around, the only man left standing.

Shade was in the middle of the puddle dwarfing two little white chicks someone must have brought in.

Courtney was nearby snuggling with a stripper.

And I walked away.

The clock flipped to 8:00. After a moments hesitation I blinked checking it’s reality and my own as the crusted tears flaked away.

I crawled to my feet wobbling like a boxer who has gone down, adjusted my nuts, and walked to the backroom where we were to meet our ride to our new life and cover.

Courtney and Shade were already there. Asleep, but there.

I crawled in between them for warmth, smiled, and said more to myself “You’re the only people I’ll ever know.” as I fell at last asleep.

Apparently someone picked us up and placed us on an army cargo plane cause that’s where we woke.

I looked around without getting up feeling comfortable where I was, but wanting to know my environment.

There was a platoon with us on some training mission I assumed.

The commander was chewing one of them out, probably what woke me up in the first place.

Staring down the private he pointed in our direction saying

“Each of those three is ten times the man than all of you combined.

They receive no praise no valor public or private, they have no holidays, no parades,

no one will remember them as no one knows who the fuck they are.

You fight for pride. You fight because we tell you to. And for what you know is right.

They fight through doubt in the shadows of right and wrong.

So shut the fuck up and let them sleep.”

I followed his advise and went back to sleep.

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