(sxc.hu)

Robin by JAMES HIGGINS

"I haven't figured out the flying part, yet. But I will. Even if it kills me. I will fly."

"When's the last time you were flying?"

"Huh?"

"Last time you had a flying one?"

"So, last time I was flying?"

She nodded.

"I always fly. Every night. Last time I was in some mall or some such shopping plaza shit. It was dark, like a rainy day through skylights. I know it was in the future because people were even more desensitized than they are now. I mean, there I am flying around, always running from someone or something, and the people just go about their business, shopping and plodding around the halls. It was like being surrounded by indifferent vampires, I guess. I've never been surrounded by vampires, but I imagine that's what it would be like, and it figures it would happen in a fucking shopping mall. The Old Navy Vampires. Be a good softball team."

"So they didn't notice you? Maybe you secretly want people to notice you, to pay attention, yet they are more interested in sales and fashion, things that you consider trivial and meaningless?"

"Perhaps." We stared into the backyard reflectively. A robin landed at the base of the maple, and then took off again. "What the fuck is this anyway, psychoanalysis? At least let me lie down on the deck if you're going to shrink my brains even more than they already are." She was a button pusher, too. I saw her smiling.

"I just wondered what you dream about."

"I don't dream, I do." I said.

"Ahhh..."

"I haven't figured out the flying part, yet. But I will. Even if it kills me. I will fly."

"I never dream." she said.

"How do you know? You could be dreaming now."

"I never remember anything."

"Nobody does. Most of the time, I confuse it with my imagination, or what I thought happened, or how I think it should have happened. Then I watch a good movie and I can't remember who said shit to me about what."

"I only remember what I want to." she says. "Things never go the way I want them too, so I just forget about my hopes."

"How can you say that? That's bullshit. That's like saying you only hear what you want to. You can't pick and choose your life. Take it all or fake it all."

"Who wants to remember bad things?"

"Don't think of it as bad. It's just a lesser part of the good, that's all. But it's all necessary."

"Why?"

"I dunno, but it is. Or it never would have been. You can't recognize the best unless you've seen everything there is."

"I hope I am dreaming. Because talking to you is a nightmare."

"Try living it."

She paused. "No thanks."

"Forget you!" I thought.